First we met in Vegas. Then, we fell in love on the internet. After months of emotional struggle and denying to ourselves and others that we were anything but friends, we reunited in Australia and knew there was no more sense in denying it: we are in LOVE. After living together for a month, dreading my impending departure, Michael proposed marriage. Under a clear Canberra night sky, looking out from the balcony, I accepted. Michael presented me with a silver and blue opal pendant to mark the occasion.
And thus the simple part ended.
We were both a bit iffy about the whole wedding thing. Mike, having already been through the whole rigamarole once before, wants things as simple as possible. And I, well, I've always kind of fought with myself about the whole thing. Sure, like any other girl I'v thumbed through my share of wedding magazines, watched a few chick flicks and daydreamed about cakes and favors, but the whole things just seems a lot like a big, expensive party that goes agains my feminist, rebellious nature. I like parties, I like cake, I even like pretty dresses, but the idea of spending that much money on something like that just smacks of gross materialism. Then there was the whole problem of us being all the way in Australia and my family being all the way back in California. Also, Mike's folks are in Brisbane, which is pretty far away too.
Michael and I decided that we would just sign some papers and then later, when both of us could have our family and friends present, we would have a big party honoring our wedding, and hopefully the granting of my nice new visa, too.
It was around this time that I, thinking mostly about ideas for the party in January, realised that this was the only time in my life that I could buy bridal magazines and books without feeling creepy. I proudly bought copies of Creative Weddings and Martha Stewart Weddings, The Ultimate Guide to Planning Your Wedding (a tiny, 12cm x 10cm paperback book) and The Anti-Bride Wedding Planner.
First, I set about researching Australian marriage laws. Apparently, in other states, one can just get married by a registrar and be done with it. In Australian Capital Territory, where we are, this is not done by the registrar. I had to find a civil celebrant.
I searched around and it seemed to me that most celebrants were a bit of the beads, crystals and scarves type. Seeing as we are both, uh, free thinkers and definitely not new-agers, spiritual, religious or even superstitious, we wanted someone who would be down to earth and wouldn't insist on giving us any 'spiritual' guidance or input or anything. Fortunately, the first celebrant I called seemed to fit the bill nicely. Michele Bolitho, a very nice Canberra resident with a loveley garden was instantly likeable and available when we were. She and I hit it off right away and I was pleased to find out that she could offer her garden for our ceremony at no extra charge. We set the date for 12 October, 2007. Still, I was thinking, this is just a simple wedding, no frills, no lace, no dress, NO CAKE!
In our first meeting, Michele gave us a packet about the required elements of the wedding ceremony, and I was a bit surprised. There was a lot to consider. As a celebrant, she was also obligated to recommend several things, like counselling and other services. She gave us several sample ceremonies and suggestions for readings. It was beginning to seem like a much more wedding-y ceremony than what I originally thought. The part of me that reads bridal magazines began to rear its lacy head.
I decided to buy a dress. I chose the dress based on several factors: I wanted something I could wear again without looking like I was in a wedding dress. I wanted something I could afford. I wanted it to be relatively casual. I wanted to look good in it. The dress I chose is a short, above the knee a-line ivory satin and organza dress with a high neck and no sleeves. It is very appropriate for spring, and I don't feel self conscious in it. The girl in the store was very adamant that I had to get it because it looked so perfect on me. So I did. I then went to the craft store and bought material for a veil. Here comes the bride after all!
After that shopping trip I realised that I could not do all of this girly stuff alone any more. I asked my new, local friends, Emma and Shy to be my bridesmaids. They took to it way more eagerly than I expected for friends that I had only had for a few weeks. They are being super helpful.
Now it seems the challenge is to keep things simple and not to get carried away!
The basic plan is still: Small, simple wedding then we all go out to dinner.
Mike's mum is coming down for the ceremony and he's asking some of his students to take photographs. I know that at least one of his co-workers will be attending and probably a couple of students will be guests. I will have Emma and Shy there and I will let them chose who else they want to invite. That seems fair. We want to keep the party down to about a dozen or less.
Sometimes, Mike objects a little bit when it seems like I'm getting too elaborate, but I reminded him of another thing we have to keep in mind: I will be applying for a visa as Mike's spouse. I've read about the requirements and it seems like they need lots of proof that our relationship is genuine and lasting. The fact that it actually is means nothing if we don't have evidence. This is another reason that I am allowing The Veiled One (my inner bride, that voice that constantly sings dum, dum, de-dum) to take over a bit.
However, I cannot justify ceremony music with this argument. I thought it would be nice, since I'm getting all dressed up, if I had some music playing as I walk down the path to the celebrant and my groom. I looked through a bunch of samples of wedding music and I was unconvinced. I didn't want something that would make me cry (Pachelbel's Canon in D, for instance) nor did I want the traditional Here Comes the Bride march. I looked and looked. Mike wanted to have some Jazz standards like Sinatra, so I looked through those too. Nothing really spoke to me and it all seemed more like reception music. In the wedding in my head, a string quartet plays my favorite rock love songs. I was pretty sure I wouldn't find that, but lo and behold, it exists! The Vitamin string Quartet has recorded string quartet and classical versions of over a hundred different rock, pop, heavy metal, folk, and electronic artists. I found several tracks that I liked and downloaded them from i-Tunes (legally!). I have chosen three for the ceremony. For the prelude, Just Like Heaven by The Cure (a song about finding the bliss of new love), for the processional, Please, Please, Please Let Me Get What I Want by The Smiths (a song of hope that one will not be disappointed again) and for the recessional/signing the certificate, Lay, Lady, Lay by Bob Dylan (the most beautiful love song ever written). These songs, while possibly not entirely appropriate, sound absolutely beautiful and bridal when played by a string quartet. Absolutely perfect, and Michael likes it, too.
Today I recieved notification that my application to extend my tourist visa was accepted and I think that brings our story up to date.
I started this blog so that we can keep our far flung family and friends up to date about our upcoming nuptuals and I will continue post here as more develops. There will probably be pictures and stuff, too.
